I'm different, but it's ok !

Hi I'm K.J. And I'm Autistic...

Wow, that was a huge thing for me to do, that sentence right there, the one you just read. Seriously, you probably have no idea how intense the feeling of writing that was for me and the repercussions it will no doubt bring with it.

You see for many people Autism and/or Asperger's is still a Bad thing a very bad thing. There are countless stories of parents recounting how devastated they were when they got a diagnosis that their Son had Asperger's (no I'm not being sexist it is just that all the stories I have seen in various media outlets have been about boys) and them knowing that now their child would not grow up to have the life they had imagined he would because … DA... DA... DAaaa … they are Disabled !

Um I hate to tell you this folks but being on the Autism spectrum is not a death sentence, not even close. If your kid is Aspergian or High functioning Autistic, they can probably do most things any “normal” kid can do and then some, just differently. Now Kanner Autism is a different story but even then just because someone is non verbal it does not necessarily follow that they are Intellectually disabled. Even when the medical professionals say it is so.

So apparently according to some research or other, I don't have mirror neurons or they don't work or have been routed to another system or whatever. The upside of this is that I don't just automatically follow what others do. You know, the heard mentality that makes you (if you are Neuro Typical or Nypical or NT i.e. not on the Autism spectrum) smile when someone smiles at you, or cry when a character in a film cries, whether you want to or not, you just do coz these things in your brain make you, without any conscious thought or effort, you don't have a choice. You just copy -or mirror- what another is doing, that is what mirror neurons do. Now supposedly this is bad and I am defective coz I can't blindly follow the heard. I can consciously follow the heard but not without making a decision to do so.  

Yes I am Autistic, I have a diagnoses of Asperger's Syndrome and no, I won't just smile at you automatically because you smile at me. I will however smile when I am genuinely happy or pleased or find something funny. Now this might sound weird but I think that my way is better, you know actually smiling because I want to and because I am feeling a real emotion, not just mirroring you if you smile at me because some mechanism in my brain has forced me to against my will.

So if I smile at you or at some gift you have given me or whatever it is because I am truly feeling like smiling, I'm not just mirroring your expression, bowing to peer pressure or faking it. Not to say that Nypicals are bad for doing that, I mean I hope I have made it clear that they just can't help it, they have to smile when you smile at them because of their mirror neurons, they don't have any control over it. Well for the fist few seconds anyhow, after that their conscious brain kicks in and they can choose what facial expression to have.

Having a diagnosis of Asperger's does not mean I am bad or mad, I have a neurobiological disorder. Sometimes I need a little help from others to do what you might think of as simple or routine tasks. Yes my brain is different but it is not defective nor damaged. Often different can be a good thing and I hope to use this blog to help show how.